الرايتنج مجنني

[رغد محمد]

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!!!!....Finally

I found someone who can correct my mistakes

Thank you so so so so much Mr. Fahad. Really I appreciate your hard work to correct my mistakes

You don't know how happy I'm. Now I know where my mistakes are.

?...May I ask you a Qs

?...How is my writing in general

?...Does it need to more and more to be professional

?...What is your advice to me

:and more one Q

:In my essay, I wrote

One benefit of the internet is doing homework, researching, or looking for information. For example, some people went to the internet to look for specific information, and they can find it easily.

:and you correct it to be

Other benefits of the internet are such as doing homework, researching, or looking for information. For example, some people use to the internet to look for specific information, and they can find it easily.

?...The red colors: why did you change the beginning to Others Coz it is the beginning of the paragraph and it is the first sentence of the essay

So, how can we say Others..? "And" the internet are such

I think we have to use a verb right

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:and in this one too

. Also, when you want to communicate with your family, especially for who travails out of his country to learn or live there, you can use the internet.

:You change it too

Also, when you want to communicate with your family, especially those who away from his country to learn or live there, they can use the internet

.

Ok... can we change his to their or not ...?? Coz you didn't correct it for me

،’
Again thank you for your time and correction, too

Thank you from my heart

Raghad Mohammed

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[ابو فهد*]

Good morning Raghad

Thank you for your appreciation words

my feelings as yours because I got a lot of benefit from you, too

okay, let's start with your first Qs

?...How is my writing in general

I can't evaluate you but I can say my opinion only, here I have to say the truth, your writing is perfect -by what does the word mean- because you still in the beginning and you have the chance to improve your language

?...Does it need to more and more to be professional

Yes, you need to practice more of reading to achieve sentnce building

?...What is your advice to me

My advice is to avoid a literal translation

how can we say Others..? "And" the internet are such

Other benefits (plural) and we should use( are )because (are) related to other benefits not to the internet. Ok, understood? If not let me know

can we change his to their or not ...?? Coz you didn't correct it for me

Yes, and CONGRATULATIONS you passed the hidden test. I left this obvious mistake to check your intelligence


Thank you again for giving me this opportunity to help you and it is in my pleasure to exchange interests with each others.

(don’t hesitate to ask anything)

[رغد محمد]

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Good evening Mr.Fahad

Thank you sOoOo much. I understood everything that you said it to me

Other benefits (plural) and we should use( are )because (are) related to other benefits not to the internet. Ok, understood? If not let me know

I understood you Alhamdullah, but you didn't understand my Q ..? I meant why did you put such as after are coz I think we need to put a verb, right?

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Yes, and CONGRATULATIONS you passed the hidden test. I left this obvious mistake to check your intelligence

!!!!...So, I'm intelligent

...Thak you sOoOo much big brother

You made me proud of myself



،’
Ammmmm

??...If I give you another essay will you correct it for me

>>

If you can't just say I can't. It's okay

Thank you again


،’

[ابو فهد*]

Good time, Raghad

I meant why did you put such as after are

because (such)is an adj. so, such comes after verb and before a noun or a noun that has an adj. in front of it. Please, see these e.g. from Oxford Dictionary

It was such a boring film that I fell asleep

It is such a lovely day


AMMMMMMMM

It is not sweet

So so sorry I can't say No because I want to learn more and more skills from intillegent girl like you

ok, send your essay tonight

Tomorrow morning I will reply, now I'm going outdoor

[رغد محمد]

،’

Thank you sOoOo much, sir

I didn't know that "such" is an adj ...!! I thought it is prepostion<< see how intellgent she is

I looked to the dectionary, and I found that "such" has a different meanings...!!! Its new thing for me

Thank you very much Mr.Fahad

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Okay, this is my Cause and Affect essay

I'm waiting for your correction and the others, too

My regards

،’

~....Rose
؟?....Where are you honey

،’

[ابو فهد*]

Miss Raghad

Please see your Ammmmmmmmmm


Miss Rose


We are looking for your sharing, this is your subject

[الملاك الأبيض]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Ro$e بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Smoking in Public Place Smoking is one of the most leading killers in kingdom of saudi arabia and thousands of peopel died becouse of it .When peopel smoke in public places they think that they do not hurt anyone but thierselves ,while the truth is they also cause damage for the people around . I think Smoking in public should be prevented for many reasons it hurt children and infants,adults with cardiac or respiratory diseases, and pregnant women . nicotine makes amplification in heart beats raises blood pressure of the body. first of all passive smoking is the main reason for cancer and heart disease,The studies reveal that smokers inhale only 15 percent of cigarette smoke, while 85 percent of the spread of smoke rise into the air and threatening the lives of non-smokers in workplaces and public places and has a great many disadvantages to humans. second reasons is that the prevention leads to a decrease in the number of people directly exposed to secondary smoking, and that restrictions on this places may lead to more smokers give up smoking altogether. opponents of the points that i mention say that it is not harm full to smokes in public places and they only hurts themselves and it is their bodies and they can do whatever , when ever they want .but the truth is passive smoking can increase the risk of heart disease by 25 to 30 percent, which leads to thousands of deaths annually due to heart disease. in Conclusion People should not smoke in public places so that they do not cause harm to others ان شاء الله يكون فيه تحسن

هاي روز . حبيت اشاركك ببعض النقاط الي لقيتها في تعبيرك واتمنى تستفيدي من كلامي وفي النهاية انا مو احسن منك باي شي لاني طالبة من نفس مستواك ولكن نحن هنا للاستفادة من خبرات وتجارب بعضنا وان توفقت في قول شي فمن توفيق الله وان اخطئت فمن نفسي .

في البداية حابة اخبرك انو تعبيرك لابأس به وفيه فكرة حلوة والافضل من هذا انو ماشاء الله عندك ثروة لغوية حلوة في الانقلش بس الشيء الضعيف عندك هو بناء الجملة انت عندك كلمات وعندك فكرة بس لما تيجي تبني الجملة مايبين الاحترافية والاكاديمية في بناءها . والخبر الجيد في هذا الامر انو هذي النقطة راح تتحسن يوم بعد يوم في كل مررة بتكتبي اكثر .

الشيء الآخر هو عنصر التكرار في كتابتك وهذا شيء من المحرمات في كتابة الايساي لانو الشخص لما يقرا المقال يبحث عن معلومات جديدة ومفيدة في كل سطر لتشده لاكمال المقال اما لما نعيد نفس الفكرة وراء بعضها فهنا نفقد عنصر التشويق في الكتابة وهذا ملاحظ عندك في الجمل التالية :
workplaces and public places

من المفترض ان تكتبي كلمة واحدة منهم لان كلاهما يدل على نفس المعنى .

children and infants

ايضا كلا الكلمتين معناها واحد فاكتفي بكتابة واحدة منهما .

ثانيا احس انو النقطة الاولى والثانية يعني البارغراف الاول والثاني يتكلم عن نفس السبب يعني كأنك فصلتي الفكرة لبارغرافين وهي مفروض تكون في بارغراف واحد .

ثالث شي وهو الاهم انو جملك وبارغرافاتك قليلة وصغيرة الحجم ولا يجب ان يكون الايساي بهذا الشكل باي حال من الاحوال يعني يكون البراغراف طويل وفي اخطاء املائية يكون برايي افضل من ان يكون صغيرا بهذا الشكل .

ثالث شي ياعزيزتي انت سميتي الناس المدخنين بتسمية هي :
the passive smokers

والتدخين بكل اشكاله سلبي فلا يوجد مدخن ايجابي واخر سلبي

اما الاشخاص الذين يستنشقون الدخان وهم في الواقع غير مدخنين فنسميهم :

the half-smokers .

اخر شي الخاتمة يجب ان تكون اطول وتحتوي على معلومات وخلاصة تفيد ياما حل لمشكلة او اقتباس او جملية تترك اثر في نفس القارئ بحيث كما بدأتي موضوعك بقوة تنهيه بقوة . وفي نفس الوقت لاننسى ان نتحدث عن النقاط التي ذكرناها في المقدمة في الخاتمة لتذكير القارئ بموضوعي بشكل مختصر .

هذا والله أعلم .

هذا مجرد اجتهاد متواضع مني وارجو ان لااكون ازعجتك باي امر مما ذكرت وفي النهاية كلنا هنا للتعلم كل منا يتعلم ويستفيد من الأخر .

دمت بحفظ الرحمن وفي انتظار موضوعك الآخر عن البيرسويسف .

[الملاك الأبيض]

hi for you both master abu fahad and my lovely frined raghad

i just want to share my notes with you guys . as belong to your essay raghad i could say in my humble opinion that your writing in this cause and effect essay is much better than the first one you wrote .because your sentences structure is very good and clear .

second thing i correct your essay like this :

the orange words i corrected them for you

the green words are words that i added

and there is just one blue word that i want to ask you about

which is : him/her
i mean is it right to write such a thing in the essay don't we have to be more specific in our writing and write instead just "him" for example ?

i hope to answer me about that point >hope you all the good in the world for you raghad and abu fahad.

[رغد محمد]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة ابو فهد* Miss Raghad Please see your Ammmmmmmmmm Miss Rose We are looking for your sharing, this is your subject

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Looooooool



Thank you soOoOo much Mr.Fahad,

You made look to the things that I advise others to do it, but I forget to remaind myself about it

Really thank you from my heart for your time and knowledge

??...May I ask you Qs, are you a teaher or something

!...Coz your writing and answers masha'allah much better than regular students

Tell me how did you develope your writing and language, too?

?The last Q, can you give us one of your essays to learn more skills
Thank you again big brother

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[ابو فهد*]

Greetings to all

i just want to share my notes with you

You're welcome, and this is what we are looking for
sharing is caring

in the essay don't we have to be more specific in our writing and write instead just "him" for example

Good point, I see there is no wrong to write both him/her because Raghad doesn’t talk about specific gender of male or female, her writing is open for any child and this is a formal style of writing

hope you all the good in the world for you raghad and abu fahad

Thank you, I owe to express the same feelings for you


Raghad's questions

??...May I ask you Qs, are you a teacher or something

No, I'm willing to be a teacher in the future

Tell me how did you develop your writing and language, too

By doing more practicing such as writing e-mails and reports, etc. However, the best way to improve your language is by sharing others through writing and speaking
My advice to all of you to use E writing in this forum, please, don't miss this chance of learning

?The last Q, can you give us one of your essays to learn more skills

Unfortunately, I have no time for writing because I'm traveling this weekend and I will be disconnected of internet, but you can imagine my writing. If I want to write essay I will write about this subject WOMEN AND DRIVING A CAR

Any qestions and comments are welcome, god bless you