الموضوع: الرايتنج مجنني
عرض مشاركة واحدة
منتديات طلاب وطالبات جامعة الملك عبد العزيز منتديات طلاب وطالبات جامعة الملك عبد العزيز
قديم 28-05-2011, 12:41 PM   #9

ابو فهد*

سبحان الله وبحمده

الصورة الرمزية ابو فهد*

 
تاريخ التسجيل: Jan 2009
كلية: كلية الآداب والعلوم الانسانية
التخصص: English
نوع الدراسة: متخرج - انتساب
المستوى: متخرج
البلد: منطقة الباحة
الجنس: ذكر
المشاركات: 92
افتراضي رد: الرايتنج مجنني

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Ro$e مشاهدة المشاركة
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Smoking in Public Place
Smoking is one of the most leading killers in kingdom of saudi arabia and
thousands of peopel died becouse of it .When peopel smoke in public places
they think that they do not hurt anyone but thierselves ,while the truth is they
also cause damage for the people around (them). I think Smoking in public should be
prevented for many reasons it hurt children and infants,adults with cardiac or
respiratory diseases, and pregnant women . nicotine makes amplification in
heart beats raises blood pressure of the body.

first of all passive smoking is the main reason for cancer and heart disease,The
studies reveal that smokers inhale only 15 percent of cigarette smoke, while 85
percent of the spread of smoke rise into the air and threatening the lives of
non-smokers in workplaces and public places and has a great many disadvantages
to humans.

second reasons is that the prevention leads to a decrease in the number of people
directly exposed to secondary smoking, and that
restrictions on this places may lead to more smokers give up smoking altogether.

opponents of the points that i mention say that it is not harm full (harmful)to smokes in public
places and they only hurts themselves and it is their bodies and they can do
whatever , when ever they want .but the truth is passive smoking can increase the
risk of heart disease by 25 to 30 percent, which leads to thousands of deaths
annually due to heart disease.

in Conclusion People should not smoke in public places so that they do not cause harm to
others.

ان شاء الله يكون فيه تحسن

In general, your writing is good but I noticed some common mistakes like capitalizing first letter, speling mistakes, space before period and no use of logical organizers. I suggest you to do more practice and review it with your self.

Note: the red word should be corrected and replaced.

Best Regards,

 

ابو فهد* غير متواجد حالياً   رد مع اقتباس