[رغد محمد]

،’

~...Hiiii darling MaloOokah

hi raghoody happy to see your comment about my essay first of all thnx for your correction i'm very proud to be corrected by such a friend as you.

It's my honor to correct your essay dear. You don't know how important that is to me honey

،’

and as belong to the spaces , i admit that i have a big problem with this thing because i mostly forget to leave any space or to put a comma, which is not good for my condition because i write long sentences and with out commas they become like a run-sentences .

Yes, I notice that, but you have to practice more darling. It's not that hard. All what you have to do is to know where is the place that you can put a Comma or period. Masha'allah I notice that when you write a sentence, you write it very long. It is good thing, but you must put a comma or semicolon in you sentence to help the reader understand you honey

?...Do you understand my dear

’،

what is the thing that u dn't understand ? i'm trying to convince the reader with this sentence ,because after u mention the opposite view of the argument u should to write some words or some kind of sentence to go back to your point and your view of the argument ,thats why i put this sentence in between .

...I see you point

!!...Ok.. Look

Your sentence is

While this saying have some merit on surface, however when children spend more than four hours daily on television

You wrote however and when together. How can you put it together ...?? I don't think that we can join them together ?

Coz I felt this sentence is too complecated to understand

You may say :

While this saying have some merit on surface, .....etc you point

But you can't say however when togeter coz however need a comma after it even when need a comma after you complete the sentence

hhhhhhhhhhhh<< I feel like I make ffel like this

I mean your sentence will be like this :

While this saying have some merit on surface, however, when children spend more than four hours daily on television,.....etc

has lots os commas and non finished thoughts

??...Get it
،’

thats it . thank u for your appreciative effort and i liked your notes ,looks like i'm gonna sent my persuasive essay in the next time hhhhh see ya dear .

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Send whatever you want dear, the important thing is learning honey. So, send all you essays, and I will send main to have a party of essays

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

~...I'm not joking dear, send yours. I'm waiting

This is my Comparison essay tell me your points about it

See ya darling

،’