[الملاك الأبيض]

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة رغد محمد ،’ Hiiiii everybody ~....MaloOoOokah honey ~...I correct your essay, and I want to tell you something !!!!...Your essay is amazing, wonderful, and perfect, too ~....Masha'allah Tabarak'allah I like your writing coz it has lots of knowledege. Really I like it very much I don't know what I can say accept May Allah protect you and help you to atchive your dreams as soon as you can The only mistake that I found in you essay is spaces Look to your esaay and you will understand me If you have any Q I'm here darling See you soon dear ،’

hi raghoody happy to see your comment about my essay
first of all thnx for your correction i'm very proud to be corrected by such a friend as you.

and as belong to the spaces , i admit that i have a big problem with this thing because i mostly forget to leave any space or to put a comma , which is not good for my condition because i write long sentences and with out commas they become like a run-sentences .

second about your white sentence"While this saying have some merit on surface, however when children spend more than four hours daily on television"

what is the thing that u dn't understand ? i'm trying to convince the reader with this sentence ,because after u mention the opposite view of the argument u should to write some words or some kind of sentence to go back to your point and your view of the argument ,thats why i put this sentence in between .


thats it . thank u for your appreciative effort and i liked your notes ,looks like i'm gonna sent my persuasive essay in the next time hhhhh see ya dear .